To my live monologue from “at the optician”

I have been criticized, that I have a difficult ME situation with a concrete situation, in which Natascha Kampusch was, compared. I mentioned the concrete example: Over the years, Natascha Kampusch was repeatedly granted small freedoms by her kidnapper. Over time, she was allowed to go shopping with them from time to time. once, this is how Kampusch tells it in her book, she stands alone in a shop (I do not know anymore, if it was a pharmacy), and talk to the seller. In this specific situation I have a resemblance to the occasional “excursions into life” severe ME sufferer seen: they are here for a moment, there is an encounter with the outside world, but this moment is unreal not only because of its seeming normality, he is also threatened.

But this comparison is a leveling of that, what Kampusch experienced through her kidnapper, and so a comparison, who is next to it.

I admit, that spontaneous talking carries this danger. There is a lack of compression and verification of that, what i let out. If I had the chance, in a real conversation (roundtable) to participate, discussions could arise from my fallacies. So it remains a monologue, who needs to be criticized, without, that I can come to a conclusion in exchange with others, that certain views of mine are too radical or not true for others.

I took out the point with the Kampusch comparison, although I'm not quite sure, whether one can say per se, such a comparison is beside the point. But it is significant, that I can write about it for years, what the backgrounds are, why the situation, where ME sufferers are, is that bad, without, that those around me are interested in this political and criminal background. It is acknowledged though, that ME sufferers are badly off, but that this situation so “wanted and tolerated” becomes, that it is a case of failure to provide assistance, the state of threat of the v.a. severely affected with caused, this is not acknowledged. These documents may not be read. Or are I even interpreted as a conspiracy.

Oh well, if it's like that; Then why am I told?, that I am not allowed to make comparisons with people/situations, to which I have a resemblance, albeit only in relation to certain situations, see? I find it doubtful, when someone talks about leveling, without ever having seen a film about severe ME sufferers. Without making yourself aware of information, that the lack of research and support from the healthcare system for many, many years, out “the evil” arises and not just like that, because you just can't find out the mechanisms of the disease (because it's so complex).

I have the “Höllenhund” mentioned. For me, it can come in a variety of forms.

I have a total of four options, that when I talk about the deaths of young ME sufferers; then hardly anyone cares, I make a comparison with a situation, in one person or one group in another, but also threatening situation stuck or stuck, which is often partly caused or caused by the “human evil”, then I will be criticized.

There is apparently “crime”, the one kind “common property” and as such may not be touched or brought up for comparison. Everyone knows, how this one “crime” feel and who the criminals are. At one point, that might not have been the case. Perhaps many of these were “crime” or even weaker: “transgressions”, at the time, in which they took place, repressed, trivialized, not properly appreciated or simply tolerated.

And, it goes on like this all the time in history: Crimes happen every day, also on a large scale (as we are currently seeing to the point of penetrance), but only in hindsight do they really concern us. But then, when a structural horror in its ordinariness gets the status of history, are these “Mistake” and “crime” at once untouchable and incomparable. Then you have nothing to do with us, because we- the humanity- probably want to believe, that we get better, when we get away from that, what we are responsible for, demarcate and stand out.

Maybe that's why I made a slightly provocative comparison: because the ordinariness of certain “smaller” crime, that are happening now, to be silently acknowledged ….

I would not level with a word and therefore want to downgrade, what a kidnapping victim, experienced eight years of being held hostage, going through. I haven't experienced it, I have only read the book by Natascha Kampusch. And I tried, to put myself in their situation. I do not think so, that I succeeded.

But when leveling means equality, then that is not my intention. Comparing does not mean making the same. It could be an attempt, based on an example (not the situation as a whole), to filter out the understanding of an experience in a very specific situation, not like that (to) or (With)wants or can be felt. E.g..

(9.4.2022)

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