10.11.2000
A life dedicated to inner movement must end in self-abandonment or the madhouse. And yet I am a minimalist, just euphorize myself. One sentence, that gets me excited, because he may have hit my nerve; and I start all over again (with writing). I will never make sentences, that equates to a little shaking of the ass. And that's why I will never live in a villa, but meager and poor. I try to be satisfied with the love of one person. I suffer less deeply, since i am actually loved. I'm more tired of myself. But as soon as I ate, drank and R. loved, I am missing a topic. I have to be able to "work on" a problem again immediately ...
13.11.2000
I've got a problem. A job with the women's union, 50 percent, Unemployment fund. Now I have a little merit, and. But I can't fool myself; i pay double! There are only two options: Marriage of a wealthy bull. Or social welfare office or disability pension. I've gotten myself into it, To be a creator and a wolf and lead the existence of a mouse. However, I see myself more on the side of street artists than on the side of poets, Mountaineers or religious fanatics. If I got married (and someone else would take care of my life), then that other person would be responsible for my happiness. I would have to try then, to laugh as much as possible, and therefore wanting to speak as little as possible intelligently. It wouldn't work. So we're waiting for the IV notification.