That was foreseeable, with a resignation of at least 60 years.
I called the plumber and made two different estimates.
The on-call service promised to come that evening, I found that
amazing, because it was sunday.
Sunlight flooded the tile floor in front of the bathroom. Then suddenly he stood there.
It wasn't my letters and approaches that had moved him to do so,
the week-long break (the initiated divorce) to pick up with me,
but a sanitary emergency in our block (and there in my apartment).
There had been boomerang-like verbal injuries between us.
For him, an argument with me was an existential threat, for me … bad, because threatening for him. But actually unimportant.
Already in the middle of an exchange of blows rose
an amusement in me, a joy like
a superhuman force! Keine Umstände können meiner Liebe für dich
to wear something. I am a late lover with exactly two perspectives:
death and love! My illness is responsible for this relaxed perspective!
I wanted to tell him, if I pay too little attention to the circumstances of the dispute
gave. The circumstances, which he might have collected, found and hoarded, one
To have a whole bunch of reasons for the final divorce.
(the end of a love doesn't need a reason, you can also terminate feelings without notice.)
For me it was not existential, that we didn't understand each other on many topics.
For me the question was existential, how we restore love for him.
In each, this conflicted, vital moments, in which she was lost to him.
(through his own dissociation from me). In those moments I shivered!
What separates him from me, I can't understand. But it has to (unless
with my crooked nose) have anything to do with these circumstances of life, that no longer meant anything to me. I couldn't give a single example, except, that I once gave him, when he broke up with me halfway to the end, a thank you was owed, for this, that he took the mail from my mailbox, without, that I asked him to. I was traveling, amongst other things, to think about us.
We hugged. Ton weights fell off me. Then he grabbed
for the toolbox and turned on the old-fashioned flush.
Don't do it!”, I asked him. And saw, like his arm to the elbow
sank into the bowl.
“Don't you do THAT for me!”
Damn dirty life!
(14.9.2020)