Do forgive me these silly words… but I am hurt (it is deeply personal and I should work with it in a literary way,
I'll leave it at that anyway, as a kind of memorial for myself and my ability to regenerate
Ability for abstraction. My life and feelings are intertwined with my literature, and you could try,
this “outbreak” or “Collapse of my inner reflective balance” as an exhibit
regard. This page, here, that too, I have to say unfortunately, my WordPress site, is and was not “publicly”, because
participation from outside is anonymous, I don't know my readers, if there is, I am in my own space,
without, that I could realistically include the outside space. I would write and publish texts for money, Text, the
be read in reality, I would between this own space, into which I fall back and fall back must distinguish from
outer space or vice versa: integrate the public into my private expression. I could do this, gives, and, just this,
gives, don't leave it like that. But I'm a poor pig, I do not know, how to private pain, private life,
turning physical suffering into resources, that are useful, useful for life and by that I mean of course a
constructive life. I could cite the circumstances again, in which I am forced, to live because of my illness,
this isolation ….. those years of isolation …. but maybe that's just sound&madness……. No, my excuse is
at most the, that I have gone astray ….. that I can no longer find the strength, get up in my
resources… that I'm out of my identity, that I worked out for myself, out of me, fall out ….. fall out in a high arc ….
…..so maybe I'll leave it as it is without comment, since I am, sooner or later, also this channel, a kind of
extended body part of me, that did not reach the well of clarity, will dissolve … to avoid further errors
to weave to the basic error, in ever new forms …..
This man has no right to my memory.
1.6.2022