All acquaintances, that I still have, hurt me, Raven. They tug at me, without, that i could say, Why.
It is, because they confirm, that I lived and spent many years in her presence, fought and sought a companionship.
But now, since I'm the error as a human being, I basically can't see anyone anymore, with whom I have a past….
Because I don't want to and can't be reminded of it anymore, without, that I want to scream out loud.
I want to go somewhere, where there is a new man, who doesn't know me, only records, and in his arms drugged me and get dull and satiated with fulfillment like a baby.
I would like, if I can't fly, Raven, completely forget myself in another and dissolve one last time.
But it's all full of walls and walls. And when you meet someone, that you want to hug and be happy with, one must say, who you are, tell his story. And all is lost.
Your own biography, your own personality, the core of his being and identity; everything is in the way, when it comes to, to give and be taken from someone.
Give yourself away for free, what sounds easier?
What happened, that this wealth is not on the street? That I have to coerce people, to even stop and talk to me at length?
The mother loves the child, limitless, unconditionally. Didn't the child get it all?, to be able to keep and care for paradise, later?
an icy one, nailed board lies on my chest, Raven. The nails sink into my flesh and I faint with the pain.
There is no way out.
All my battles are lost.
I stagger and stagger through my small room, cut off from the river.
There are also no navigable tributaries.
I'm waiting, until a ship finally sinks me.
In my place shall be flowers, grasses and trees.
Raven.