From now on only work on the long prose. No more evasions and escapes into spontaneous eclats. Working soberly on structure and content, but most of all content. ultimate goal: I don't want to do anything offensive, I don't want to appear in the testimony. I want to produce something, but not myself in it. I have to make one last try, to think properly again, not to write before the thought process, but after him. Actually, I need a vacation. But how unhappy that would make me.
Existentialism Sartre: what comes after fear?
Existentialism Suter: what comes after the absurdity?
I hope nothing!!!!! It could lead to pain again.