You circle around your own…. again and again.
It's all a little like following the lifelines of the tree trunk. You adjust something here and there. Depending on the publisher's profile, you scrub a little or start over or pull out a different note, quite by chance.
I do not master this kind of external description and have to be careful, that I stay within the limit of my ability.
Dear Mrs. X
My name is Marion Jeanne Suter, I am 40….. year old, Swiss citizen and have been writing a development novel for the past ten years, of my life as a woman with various handicapé (as they say in this country) has to the content. I suffered from the neuroimmunological disease myalgic encephalomyelitis for over fifteen years, colloquial: am Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrom, without my knowing. This disease, die zu zirka 90% Affects women, has been with the World Health Organization since 1969 filed as a physical illness, but is still dismissed today as a psychosomatic ailment, at least here in Switzerland. Now, In the context of the long covid situation, the disease reappears in the media and medical world for the first time, because a not small percentage of those affected by Covid will probably develop post-infectious CFS after having suffered a Covid disease. this means, that damage to the immune system and brain can lead to a multisystem disease, which is identical to ME and which will drastically reduce the quality of life of those affected. ME can be triggered by any viral infection, very often it is the Ebstein Barr virus. In addition, the disease also becomes multifactorial or through physical and psychological trauma, Accidents or pregnancies triggered.
In my case, the problem with marked psychiatric comorbidity in my adolescent years led to it, that my massive physical complaints from the age of twenties were still pushed back to the psyche alone. I couldn't argue, that my mostly negative and unproductive experiences, I work with the medical institutions, the institutions in general, made, had no influence on my feelings / writing!!!! These experiences seem to me, I am well aware of the polarizing coloring (but a certain attitude and punch line is necessary in writing!) rooted patriarchally, because the expectations, which people put to me were shaped according to an extreme pattern of performance thinking, that I never could or never wanted to meet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my cycle-related fragility did not allow that!) Unter anderem führte bei mir schädliche Aktivierungstherapie nach dem Muster „Gring ache u sekle!“No later than my mid-thirties to physical disability and then, almost four years ago, to the previously irreversible bedriddenness.
Even so, my novel “Beliefs” is far from just a novel about (physical) illness! The last two, later chapters deal closely with ME and therefore with those complaints, which made my life a balancing act, if not let it be hell. All in all, however, I consider “beliefs” to be more of a poetic and personal examination of myself and my resources, that have been available to me for my work since I was little. I always wanted and had to do something “creative” and “solitary”. In my youth I read the books by Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. I like this denominational style, which one called the confessional literature at the time, even today, although the quality of the “confession” has of course been greatly lost in the last decades of the navel gazing overhang. My novel is in that sense, I would think, kind of reactionary. As an intuitive autodidact without a higher professional qualification, I followed my inner voice when writing, where I did no different than a mole digging a tunnel; I think, the goal is always somehow a kind of arrival in the "light", that peace and clarity, means a kind of exhalation.
My novel “Beliefs” is a fictional development novel and has three parts: It is absurd give curriculum, Part One, describes the early years of the dyscalculist and eccentric brat Jeanne Stürmchen. The tear curriculum, Part two, includes a psychiatric stay and retirement around thirty. At the height of her forcibly isolated way of life, Jeanne learns about this part, that their physical symptoms were never "imaginations", but apply to the consensus criteria for myalgic encephalomyelitis. (my diagnosis, issued by a neurology professor, followed 2018 over forty). This complete self-focus without social or medical support, as thousands of those affected experienced and are still experiencing, I describe in the scene of a nightmare, in which the affected person has the opportunity to storm in a sports stadium, to prove", that it does not simulate, which already fails because of the committee's reservations. (Stürmchen is and remains a psycho crack!) It's an absurd chapter. The third and final part deals with the late, but the failure of Jeanne's 40-year-old love for a man. During this time, Jeanne Stürmchen is in constant danger of drifting into need of care. She is broken inside and exposed to a terrible potential for frustration, but can look back on a certain inconsolable development from brat to mature woman. Or?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha. (no I don't write that!!!!!!!!!)
In case you are still interested, I ask you, just take a look at the attached chapter!
I have your X…. Written to the publisher, because I think, that I tell a "female" story. (If this reactionary statement is even allowed at a time, in which one operates around the dissolution of the biological sex itself, (( more than gender roles!!)).
Fortunately, the artistic expression can always be made undubladable; poetic!
Thank you very much for your attention!
regards
Exposé
Jeanne Stürmchen is a playful one, introverted and unruly child, who likes to paint and lives in a kind of dream world. She knows early on, that she wants to write a book one day. This world is starting to crumble, when Jeanne comes to school. She is a dyscalculist. She also develops a fear of failure at school. Shortly before graduation, Jeanne, a strong athlete, becomes sickly and suffers one infection after another and finally has a physical breakdown. Jeanne Storm is 20 Years old and from then on is plagued by puzzling physical symptoms. tries, to gain a foothold in working life, fail. Also the conditional training, to which Jeanne Stürmchen is repeatedly stopped (“Step over your symptoms, like you were Rambo!“), does not change anything about the complaints. At just under thirty-three, Jeanne is finally retired. During a psychiatric therapy stay, she is again advised to be physically fit and to activate therapy. However, Jeanne is now so physically weak, that she usually has to lie down all day. When she finally gets a diagnosis for a physical illness, she has to find out, that this is not legally recognized and that there is no therapy and hardly any research funding, to decipher this disease. At the age of forty-four, Jeanne fell in love again and experienced the “energetic flow, which reaches your cellular core ”. However, the relationship fails. What a poetic- romantic stroll in search of immediate magic should have been for an extreme existentialist, Proll, Highly sensitive and disabled person Jeanne Stürmchen, turns out to be dreary captivity in the cage of myalgic encephalomyelitis / chronic fatigue syndrome, also called playing dead syndrome.
Excerpt from the tear curriculum:
So I didn't want to turn the problem into a problem. I had been studying for years, out of a problem, that directly affected my body and that manifested itself physically, no problem to make. Definitely not a physical one, but actually not psychological either. For years I had turned a physical problem into a psychological problem, in dem ich mich innerlich dazu hatte überreden lassen, I would have one! I told myself, I have a psychological problem or I'm even crazy in the classic sense, I could at least count on a little attention!
About the disease myalgic encephalomyelitis, g.93.3
The biochemical dysregulations of myalgic encephalomyelitis (Colloquially Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) are the subject of a hitherto little noticed international research. Switzerland rejects it, the catastrophic medical care of the approx. 20000 Affected to improve. In Germany one goes from approx. 250000 Affected from. In connection with Covid-19 and the long-term consequences, there is currently increasing talk of chronic fatigue syndrome in the media. But it is not yet foreseeable, whether people with Long Covid Syndrome develop ME or other fatigue-related problems.
Quak.