At first you are that croak, hilfos, fast blind, and not even on all fours, come and shower you with their blind love. You are their gem, her crown; don't know, but still belong to them.
Then you are this amazement and babble, that deforms quickly to these first (and last), very bright pure questions. Your courage is so great now, that you often fall and dig yourself bloody, but you'll be back on your feet quickly. You are now a child and your euphoric shouting unites the hardened sides of their streets while playing. Maybe you are their investment. And they still love you. But you have to (forward)do …
Because now you are already big, does not croak or be amazed, you're not a chatterbox. Maybe you still have courage, but it doesn't need that, because you learned, extend your elbows. You thunder through a snowy landscape like one of those snowmobiles, nod once to the left, Then right, always rich, and with small cuts, that cross your worried pupil, together with the, who willingly or unwillingly get into the roadway. Are you still loved? Maybe you have luck!
And what your voice says about you: sag es doch grad selber!
You were now that croak and babble, Amazement and calling. Was this neutral, undefinierbare, seductive tone. No singing! However, alarm system; gear, potent part, completely function ...!
And now autumn is already coming, and the light changes. Digs a tone in your heart, a bit of astonishment, a bit like sweet pain:
You pause now, you look down at a collapsed mountain. This mountain has collapsed, without, that you know exactly, Why. And that makes you helpless, and you may raise your voice one more time and report your failure, sell your skills, defend your right, to be one of them. But they dump you.
mistake! Are you screaming! Then you croak! Soon you'll be walking on all fours!
Then in retrospect you put everything into perspective. (Also, that maybe there is no such thing as selfless love).
Now you are this relativizing, End of a negation, complex washing. Your voice is low, because you don't need to speak out loud for yourself in your home. Your home knows and hears you! But your body is heavy now.
Sometimes you go to the park and see the kids, how they cheer and play, while her parents watch her. You think: Your life differs from mine in a perspective!
When they look at you, do you lower your eyes!
You are that murmur, Grummeln. Magic of a closed evening, not yet old and no longer young. Tree that grew too early and too crooked, too crooked! Whistle, when no one sees you, howling like a baby, without worrying about their looks, start singing, as if you were a child again:
I am that croak, hilfos, fast blind, and then on all fours. Come and shower me with no love. I her gem, her crown.
Belong to myself.
(21.8.18)