I do not know, if that is a good idea, every confession since 2017 to go through and make the change directly in the “Body of text” to write in. I like that “straighte” method, but irritates me, the existence “body” thereby with force “torn open” becomes. When I have an old and a new version next to each other, it's not the same anymore. But it's not the same either, if i use the old “traces” obliterate and under “novelty”, freshly dated, post for the second time. This somehow comes to me “rotten” in front!!! But I don't have a solution at the moment, because: I cannot leave many parts of the sentence in the old Confessions, but I cannot confess either, that comes from a very specific moment, transferred to the present moment. So the content has to stay there, where it originated in time. But this content has a very specific level, linguistically and in terms of content, but above all linguistically. But if I do now, because I was daring, to imagine, I now have one “better ones” language, into the instant products, like a glowing finger, then I take the form of these Confessions, what I really mean is: the imperfect. That is unsatisfactory and it makes me wonder. It is completely unimportant, because I know, what I do. But apparently I'm starting from the fixed picture, that one does not get into a body of text. That you either erase the old traces and redesign the content, and quite, or that you can use the old body of text “to banish” leaves and stews and with it the calendar made of ice. These are my thoughts, that come to mind at the Confessions, all of which I wrote from the moment. It looks different with prose (but not with everyone either). She can take the revision, because they are not distorted by this and at the same time pure, the purest glow of the moment, but depicts the result of a manipulated work consisting of content / structure and sound, a technical matter, which in the best case creates a new, delicate glow, very apollinic, I'll tell you. But also there, I'm just thinking of my novel “Belief” a, on which I “buffalo” have. And, I've been working on that, like a worker! Gemalocht, Looking for tuning carpets, for years! But now I'm ready, that I feel unwell and I think: I have made this work compulsory, I put them in rails, just, because I WANTED TO GET TO THE LEVEL OF CORRECT LITERATURE ONLY ONE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I think, no, that is exactly what I failed to do, to trick me there. Im “Belief” it now has heels, the partially “sanded” are, but they disgust me, I feel, that something is wrong, because i wanted too much, wanted to learn to write like that, like the STUDIES. Im “Belief” I wanted to do CORRECT LITERATURE, I HAD TO IMPRESS ALL OF MY MOMENT FEELING OVER DECADES, AROUND 120 PAGES “LAW OF FAITH” TO STAND ON YOUR LEGS. BUT THIS MANUSCRIPT IS BUT BUT NOT ENOUGH TO BE MARKETED PUBLICATION, THAT IS INDICATING.—-Also: how should i write? Again continue: how i feel? The feeling is usually megalomaniac when translated into words. But when there is no feeling, then writing to me kicks in, although I'm sure, that I then write more sensibly and better. These revisions are also an aesthetic problem. It does not look good, if you gesture into it. But i see, that WP every time, when I save an old confession under the new date, this (delete the old one). Eats away at the bottom! That doesn't seem ideal to me, somehow. So what, I think, it might be a compromise, the old nonsense under a new date and revised to post, but underneath, at the end of the entire litany, the original would still be preserved!!!!!
You just have to have some kind of problem, what one can embroider one's mind on. I do not know, how so.
I think this is a learned compensation, When the flesh is so weak, like the day long (and the void is constantly threatening the heart)
(26.2.21)