Was just on a small village walk. Immediately to the right of my block behind the freeway is the little wood! Scrub and green, Nettle-like things have increased in height in the last few weeks! Oh forest of my childhood, I thought and looked into the crowns! Suddenly I felt like it, to run. Since I would definitely have broken everything, I didn't do it.
So I meandered through the green and came to the curb flowers by the cemetery, where a sign direction “Industry Brüggmoos” shows, out again.
I love and pick curb flowers and put them to my loved one at three o'clock at night! Curb flowers grow from the paneled stones on the sidewalk, even from the concrete! I seldom know their names! But they mix with the most delicate and scruffy grasses! What a growth! It is green!
So after I slipped out on the other side of the wood and came back along the road on this side of the train tracks, I came to the church and to the parish hall! I hobbled to a glass case and wanted to see, what the church offers my new congregation.
I am an agnostic, in which the longing for God does not cease. Also, I would have felt like it again for a long time, to sit in a sermon. I think, it might calm me down, when someone preaches down on me! Erstaunt stellte ich jedoch fest, that not a single advertisement for a service was displayed on the pin board, just “Seniorennachmittage” and “Plucked Essete!”
This surprised me a little, Pentecost is just around the corner. About four weeks after moving into Pfeidstrasse, I received an invitation as a new parish member from the local church in the mail! (But not for a service!) For a personal interview!!!!!
It says above the glass case “Bürglen community”, which unsettles me a little. I think so, I moved to the community of Brügg near Biel, but maybe I have to go over the books again!
So I went on, on foot. I have a habit of walking, even more to think about, than at rest. That's why I used to walk faster and faster, the more I thought …. so i almost ran …. As a result, I stayed as slim around my stomach for many years as a chiseled whip.
The small single-family houses and smoky blocks in a motley mess close directly to the church. That's what I like about Brügg: Tradition, On site, beautiful half-timbered farmhouses, Residential silos with Banlieu flair stuffed with Indians and African dealers and bourgeois-inconspicuous blocks next to shabby houses, which once sparkled in the 30s.
Those who come down. From, who still make their way up …. and the, which maintain a certain solidity ….gather here! here we live!
After a few meters I heard a great one, seductive sound and saw two boys playing ping pong in a garden! Wow! How long haven't I smashed! When I was fourteen I was allowed to play ping pong at the canton finals of the canton of Bern because of my smash forehand, Switzerland, participate, and only just missed out on fourth place in the final! However, only the first two progressed ….
In addition to forehand and smash, table tennis also needs tactics and good nerves. I was more likely to miss them. Of course I was proud, when I was called through the microphone at the canton finals, to change my new white T-shirt in the cloakroom. It was forbidden to wear white because of the white ball! But I didn't want to deceive my opponents with my white T-shirt! However, my white T-shirt had a deep V-neck on the back. I just found this all the rage! At the end of the eighties in the staid rural area, I grew up in.
Oh, Forest of my childhood.
The motorway is very popular on public holidays, but on a Sunday morning at two o'clock she sometimes becomes quiet. Then my cat Hopfi comes and plays importantly on the edge of my balcony!
It's not about that, that I would understand the content of a sermon …. I just want to practice the habit, in listening! Sitting on a hard bench, submit to myself …. even Blaise Pascal tried this, at its end! Is, who discovered, that man is a reed in infinity, got infinitely scared before his death …. he grew small again ….
I've had this feeling for a few years, that while walking I have to step aside or try to drag an impending physical collapse …! But I'll leave it that way, because I have recently developed an obsessive introspection towards my ME symptoms. I DO NOT WANT TO ENTER THE SYMPTOMATICS LANGUAGE FOR ONCE …
(ME articulation, specific, finally broke up with my ex, the Germanist, guided. And she's already shaking my sense of touch, foam, sea paradise with my new one, the flower man…)
The breakdown of my thinking frightens me terribly! I want to go, while standing, when sitting when lying down, all of which torments me physically due to the lack of homeostasis, Do not think about this, that my thinking will ever end! As small as the walking paths are ….
Jetzt bin ich wieder daheim und habe doch das Gefühl, that some insect is crawling through my tights! Or several! That would be with this tall grass, that made me struggle and that has grown so much in the last two weeks, no surprise. I'm not afraid of the ticks. Because I've had an illness for decades, without understanding, who or what BIT me so …!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also: Thematawechsel: I'm wearing black pants today, which was elegant and long when purchased through the online market. I used to wear such a tent, When I could still stroll like a candle, like high-heeled pumps. I could do well with that and would have been over three feet seventy-eight … therefore. Züpfet-Essete!
But yesterday I suddenly had to take the scissors and cut the hem at ankle height in no time at all! Because it is impossible for me to drag a seam down the bottom of my body bag over the floor for more years … can haul!****
Now the hem looks completely eaten up and frayed. But this does not come to the fore too strongly at least afterwards, since i yes up to 28 Degrees Celsius, wear black leggings or cotton tights under your pants … additionally.
By cutting off my pants, I have, so to speak, destroyed the elegance and integrity of a pair of pants with one cut!—–
The sun is just setting. The birds still have important issues to discuss, they chirp in excited bursts. The light on the horizon fades away. I loved my ex, when he pulled on his glowing stick, I always thought then: Now, right now he is sucking on his cigarette and not me …. at the same time I wanted to be his cigarette! We slowly faded away … over decades. And now my ex is moving, whose smoker's cough annoyed me over the years, to my former apartment in town, in which we ponder each other for fifteen years, endless discussions. About my literary riot, from which nothing will come …
BECAUSE I AM IMPOSSIBLE TO PULL A HEM AT THE BOTTOM OF MY BODY SACK ABOVE THE FLOOR FOR MORE YEARS … CAN TOW …. this sentence is understandable? –
about my symptoms, which grew more and more … about our love, that never came back after a few months in bed … about his mistresses bought, that should whip his childhood, about that and all sorts of things …
In coffees, where the strongest coffee was, am Hopfenweg, where I spent my best years with Kater Hopfi in an almost Art Nouveau-like garden, on concreted, military green Bernese roadside, in parks and for the last five years on Hildanusstrasse …. gives, where all of my house tracks are currently being blasted out and a loft from the relatively meager living and jewelry rock- Jewel is made …
Oh dear administration Bracher and Immo!: If you only knew, how many, For many years my ex had to pull on his glowing stick, to earn this tough workaholic life …. !!! His fingertips, teeth, The cheeks are all yellow from the painting!
Wayside flowers. Curb flowers. A poppy! I saw! Sprout from the stone. Between the growth of preaching grass.
Then I passed a man, sweatpants, black glasses on the face, a few pounds too much (like me, since I was just thinking, ohne meinen Schritt/Kalorienverbrauch zu zu beschleunigen. That would be impossible, physical acceleration ….). The man greeted me, and I lowered my face. That was dumb of me. I have made up my mind, that I then, when I finally move out of town and into a small community, the passers-by, that I meet by chance on my way, I will greet them regularly.
In the city I was ashamed of the great pleasure, that came over me, in the faces of my residents (neighbours) to gawk …
Now I'm a country dweller again, and the post clerk already knows me because of my subtle addiction to shopping. I regularly bring the parcels back or have my authorized friend bring them back, because the goods (dress) loses its shine, as soon as it gets to me, has been unpacked and tried on by my stiffly trembling hands ….
Of course, I can't ask the shop assistant, to bring the fashion packages back to the post office for me!!! Someone so sick, that he cannot carry milk and apples himself, cannot be fashioned at the same time …
After my walk, an apple was roped down from the attic apartment, attached to a string across the balcony, to the ground floor. Right in front of my nose! Ich muss vielleicht sagen, that I personally ordered this apple from the resident there, the flower-mouth man. How i love him. So much, that I moved here.
Church bells began to ring, that sound mossy. Not that of Brügg, but from the even smaller town, Aegians.
When you're fourth, you still have to overtake the third, to come second.
I mean(t)e not literatruhr, I mean(t)e life.
Especially who has no god, needs him the most.