It is absurd course
Once again the feeling creeps up on me, as if my life hadn't started yet! For sure, this feeling will go away, if only I can finally get on with mine It is absurd course get ready. But I also have to say, that I am because of the work measures, that they demand from me out there, not getting on well with writing. It's been almost three years now, that a physical breakdown ended my short working life as a temporary worker at the Famulus bookstore. A short training to become a beautician and jobs in the back- and folding room at ZEFA unfortunately did not lead to the necessary success. Since then I have been riding through the forest on Hervar's bridle twice a week. The aim and purpose of the exercise is, to consolidate my relation to earth and to strengthen the trust in my body, so that in the foreseeable future I will be able to work regularly away from home. At least that's what my shrink thinks, Rambo Flottmann. Although I march by the river for one to two hours a day, leads the withdrawn way of life, I've been nurturing since my breakdown, namely, in his opinion, that I physically decondition more and more. This deconditioning apparently led to it for me, that I avoid social contacts more and more and instead at home in my four walls on mine It is absurd course write. Incidentally, I am writing on a serving boy with golden handles and caster feet, on which my paternal grandfather had his roast brought up. The story was like this: My paternal grandfather was an accountant by trade and a family tyrant half-time. In his second marriage he took my very young grandmother as a maid and fathered five children with her, including my father, Hannes Friedrich, and his three younger sisters. These four children, my father and his sisters were raised by grandfather, the tyrant and accountant or maid keeper, Chastised a little before dinner. With the rod if necessary! It was the aim and purpose of the exercise, the children, all of which should produce good and solid achievements in life - but not too good and too high! - to remember the duties and virtues of life: Now and labora! Measure and discipline! Be dutiful and efficient! But then, if my grandfather does this duty, whipped the children, he sat down at his table and called for his wife and maid: „Magda! Where's the dinner??! You're a minute and twenty seconds late! I'll deduct that from your kitchen money!“Whereupon my grandmother brought up the steaming Sunday roast, on the serving boy with the golden handles and caster feet, after the death of the H.F. Seniors, nobody wanted anymore, who's surprised. 'Don't you want', So asked me Hannes Friedrich Junior or my father, when I moved into my dirt cheap attic room with the worm-eaten wooden rafters nine years ago, „ …Use the serving boy with the golden handles as a storage space for you, until you have a secure income yourself, and then you can really afford a real table?“Said, done. Finally, I also agree, that I can still get a solid table, when I have achieved something in life and become something of myself. Both my father, Hannes Friedrich Junior, the ETH engineer, as well as my grandfather, Hannes-Friedrich Senior, the roast lover, have finally achieved something in life! Apart from that, I can mine It is absurd course write quite well on a gold tea set, changes the document, on which I write my book but nothing in its content. main thing, I'm just getting on with writing at last!
Mein shrink, Rambo Flottmann, is of the opinion, by the way, the feeling, mein Leben habe noch nicht begonnen, will dwindle, as soon as I just go back to a meaningful occupation. But it belongs to that, that once I sit properly in the saddle and not constantly replace the hippotherapy with senseless marches down by the river. That I am not functioning and getting symptoms at work, in his opinion is not due to a disturbed body, but primarily arises from a trick of my behavior. I probably don't want to work at all, want to be called, acquire for money, I just can't admit that to me, because I know, what a no-go being a lazy attitude to work in this country out there! Because of that, und um die da draussen vor meiner Einstellung zu bewahren, I make it look like this at work and after exercising, like my poor body was weak and disturbed, which means so much, how: deconditioned! Und das aber sei die eigentliche Störung, which must be overcome.
When I want to overcome my disorder, said Rambo Flottmann, so that I can function optimally again, condition this first of all, that I really want to work with all my heart and that the work measures for my reintegration into the public labor market are above all other matters in my life. So I should finally radically adapt my sleep-wake rhythm to the working hours and not stay in bed until noon just for sheer joy like a part-time person, an assertion, that I can't share like that. After all, for one simple reason, I'm in bed until noon, because I never fall asleep in the evening and can therefore shut down at the push of a button, on the other hand do not wake up in the morning; speak: boot and can start my organism on time. And not for the sheer joy of my bed! But if I would like to be a part-time person, and I would love to lie in bed all day, then I'd have to lie a little softer, which unfortunately is not the case!
(Excerpt from the curriculum, It is absurd course, 2014)