Posts in category: 2555 Diary

I see exactly 3 battles, that I could win or lose: Krankheit resp physische Homöostase berufliche resp. künstlerische Anerkennung LoveAndere Battles sehe ich augenblicklich nicht und habe keine Augen dafür, e.g.. for so many Life-S ...

"It is always the same." You said this, in bitterness, when you were gone. "It is always the same." And, the external circumstances of severe myalgic E. correspond exactly to this perception, even a normal family doctor refused my care with d ...

In this final silence, images move closer to me. On a timeline, which is no longer true, in wild confusion. Since around 5 Years ago I stopped, to process. The metabolism of that, what i experience, emotional, mental etc ...

Winter evening in June. So finally still, that I hear the ticking of the old cuckoo clock on my grandfather's neck. At two o'clock, at four o'clock, at nine o'clock the grandmother went into the kitchen and put the water on, presented six ornate cafes ...

And now my body can feel, how time stands still. Or the other way around: there is only time left, noticeable, a heavy boggy mass, Clay, maybe, that reaches up to my neck, while I take one step in front of the other, w ...

for this and that reason I think again a little bit about the depression. Does it exist or does it not exist? I am inconclusive, but I tend to say, that depression doesn't exist, but a psychohygienic invention ...

When we don't live our lives, what life do we live then? This is not my life, just a strange hose, who tosses with me in no direction. I mean: the, that I helped shape, the, that I wanted to give back to myself, w ...

Death has been coming to me since 30 Years ago as a life-preventing unsolvable problem. From that moment on, when I recognized him, about with 11 Years, war ich a: prevented from doing so, to become an efficient member of this society, b: something else ...

When I found out, that there is nothing for me out there to achieve, artistic, my immunological fragile protective walls collapsed .... since then the biochemical chaos floods me! It was a train of thought, who I 2014 finally closed ...