For me, Eros lived within the cells, the smallest part of the body. But he lived also beyond the body, the flesh, the materia. Being reduced on a such a tiny thing like cells did alter a sort of vitality I could not localize wholy within my organic sys ...
3004_Diary_übers Prosaschreiben
Prosa ist irgendwie mit der Idee verbunden, dass sie aus einem Plot, einer Story gemacht ist. Ich habe aber überhaupt nie eine Geschichte erzählen wollen, sondern bin nur dieser komischen Intuition auf den Leim gegangen, mich ausdrücken zu müssen. I ...
3004_Diary_Why I can't do it, to write prose again
Prosaschreiben wäre mein Ding, aber stattdessen mache ich Diary oder Eclats, die man nicht Gedichte nennen kann. Der Grund für meine Hemmung, wieder in Prosa zu steigen und mir so einen sinnlosen, miserablen Alltag zu strukturieren, liegt in der Angst, m ...
3004_Diary_Spezifizierungen der Ausgrenzung
Isn't it amazing, dass zwei unterschiedliche biologische Geschlechter gleich geschaltet werden, während man zb. Menschen als Anhänger einer ideologischen Denkweise, wie Religion zb., nicht als eine humane Einheitlichkeit betrachten kann? Damit ...
3004_u#pwME_ fireball-draussen&indoors20_10-23
How do you want to move?, if you on tinder, through the epidermis and the tissue, through the skull, burn like a ball of fire? A fire, that wraps around a tree with tongues and crackles the branches, causes the strongest tree to fall, saugt ihn au ...
3004_Diary_14.6.23
Now... At this point in my life it seems to me, as if my life transfigured into one, condensed hallucination. My life in isolation, the vague images and impressions of my surroundings, und die irren Bilder einer sich selbst ent ...
#pwME_but and yet….it is their biopsychosocial, dual model
...In the end it is the biopsychosocial effects, that kill you. And that's just the perfidious thing. That I have been considered biopsychosocial and therefore functionally ill for so many decades, was classified. Dabei litt ich an Myalgic Encephalo ...
3004_no more ME_crap here_instead of ME_lamentations&Anger visualizations
It's crazy, but having to talk about an illness, that did not exist in the world, during my most important years between 20 and 35, is also a compulsion. Because, If you look closely, they still don't exist, and nowhere except in my body. Ic ...
3004_Diary_Eros is a God in itself_Love too_confessional
... But then I found out, early, that Eros can be enriched with love.... and love enriched with eros.... And Eros was seen as a disempowered god, for me, therefore. Und Amor war für sich gesehen ein entmachteter Gott, fü ...
3004_Diary_October_ what will little Buddenbrook do?
...but will there be a place in this shrunken world for people like the little dreamer Hanno Buddenbrook? I think not. I think, the smart ones, human Darwinists, who survive, will do this as Darwinists. Künstlerische Sc ...